She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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