You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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