Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
