I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Randomize
