Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
