Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
