Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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