At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
