Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
