some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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