This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
