Im at strip club and am horny
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
