just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
