You just made me feel so damn special
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
