Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
