Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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