im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Panties = found
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
