I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
