You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
