We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
