dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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