This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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