You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
