Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
