So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
