I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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