I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
