I hate all girls vehemently.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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