I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
