I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
