great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The best revenge is premature balding
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
