her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
