is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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