I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
