i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
