i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
