You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
