hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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