Whod you bang
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
