I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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