but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
