How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
