Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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