I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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