so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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