My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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