That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
