He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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