I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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