Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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