he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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