she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
