Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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